1 Year Cancer Anniversary

 While everyone was frantically busy turning a new leaf trying to stick to their freshly made new year’s resolutions for 2015 I was trying to process the three words no one ever wants to hear “you have cancer” The last blog I posted was 31 December 2014 wishing everyone a Happy 2015. Up until now my thoughts had been really scattered, but this month marks a very special month which is the perfect motivation to gather my thoughts and start blogging again. One year ago on 18 May 2015 I had a total gastrectomy (stomach removed) and I had an amazing and interesting journey since then filled with good and not so good experiences.

Our lives were turned upside down and in an instant my husband had to become my caregiver, take care of our child, clean the house, run errands, do finances, prepare food, do laundry and our band had to play gigs without me their bass player. When my husband did solo gigs he had to put on a brave face and play happy tunes though his heart was sad and with me at home. My daughter Gabriella practically became part of my sisters family and they took really good care of her.

After I started chemo therapy I was basically in bed most of my treatment. Chemo-therapy affects people differently. I was tired, light headed and sleeping all the time which is totally against my personality. This was tough on my daughter because I couldn’t play with her or pick her up anymore. I couldn’t do simple house tasks or make food because I would feel nauseas. Usually I’m a humoristic person up and going through the day blogging, painting, playing guitar/bass and doing different things since I get bored very easily.

During the first week I found out I told one of my best friends who happens to be an atheist and her response was…”dude you can handle this…two of my family members had cancer went through chemo therapy and they are healthy now” I felt motivated and inspired and hopeful.

Some responses from Christians were quite the opposite in comparison to my atheist friend’s which left me wondering where is the love?  One person called me to tell me that the reason I have cancer is because I have sin in my life and if I just confess I’ll be healed. Another calls me and tells me that I am definitely going to die if I go through chemotherapy and not follow a natural healing process. Some would look straight at me and not greet me and just completely ignore me…maybe because they felt sorry for me? I really have no idea. Maybe they’ve lost someone to cancer and doesn’t want to deal with it again. What stood out during this experience and testing period was the lack of compassion and support structure in the body of Christ for families going through traumatic experiences such as cancer and any type of serious disease for that matter. I’m tempted to say so much more but I’m just going to leave it there…

We had to judge ourselves also in that regard because until it hits home, it’s just a story. Mr so and so has cancer…ok…and there life goes on. My husband and I felt that after my treatment as soon as I am strong enough we want to be there for other people going through chemotherapy and this difficult cancer journey. Two of these people were someone I met in hospital my Ouma Sarie, which I kept contact via sms during my recovery and someone we ran into whom we know from high school who was diagnosed with cancer the day I started my first chemo session. Just a few weeks after my operation we heard the shocking news that my Ouma Sarie and Charmelle passed away and likewise so many other people suffering from cancer. Shockingly in addition to that so many people we know got diagnosed with cancer.

In the midst of death surrounding me I just had stay positive at all times. I just had this calmness that everything was going to be fine  and it doesn’t matter what happens. We took it one day at a time, one step at a time.

On the positive side I had the most amazing support system around me: my husband, my child, my sister and her kids, my parents in law, my supportive friends, Dr Lydia Punt and  sister Karin at the St Stephen’s Oncology department in Paarl, my surgeon Dr Prozesky and his dietician wife and the staff at Mediclinic Paarl made my cancer    journey bearable.

My church family prayed for me, some people called, send motivational text messages or what’s app messages regularly to find out about my progress and others dropped by with a meal or a give or just to see how I was doing. One friend came to pray and anoint me and another went with me to one of my chemo sessions. Another friend came to wash my feet, another bought Gabriella gifts and we received financial blessings. One thing is certain, you’ll find out real quick who you can count on…I guess the most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that people will disappoint you but just keep your eyes fixed on God and He will carry you through.

In fact if you keep your eyes fixed on God He will give you hope for the future. Before my operation someone  came to visit and told me what God has planned for my future, planting a seed of hope. While in hospital I was prophesied over for almost and hour by a patient and a nurse who did not know me from a bar of soap and everything was inline with what I know and what God has previously revealed to me. One has to be careful who you allow to speak into your life during any time but especially through times of crisis. All I had to do was observe the fruit of the people who spoke death over my life and I could see they spoke out of their own wisdom and own assumptions instead of being guided by the Holy Spirit. I choose to take the good from my journey and treasure the beautiful encounters I had with people with caring hearts.

September 2015 I had CT scan and in April 2016 a gastroscopy which showed that I am cancer free. All the glory to God my healer. My body is still recovering and getting stronger but I’m looking forward to the rest of my journey here on earth. Of course when you’re faced with a near death experience one of the things that crosses your mind is: ” I was saved for a reason, I have a second chance”…my work here on earth is not done. Hmmmm I feel another blog brewing

So finally my first blog for 2016 is done even though it is already May at least I made a start. I’m looking forward to share the rest of my journey with you. I’ll leave you with this realization…spend time with your loved ones and intentionally plan on doing all the things you always wanted to do since you never know when your time here on earth will come to an end. Discover your purpose in God and live it.

Follow @AleciaS707

My hero died

I decided to dedicate this blog post to all my family, friends and readers who lost someone very dear to them at some point in their life. Some of us might have lost someone very close just recently, a years ago or even a few years back but it still feels like just yesterday. This period right before the festive season is usually the hardest when the whole family or all the friends get together and then there’s that empty space…

Each person grieves differently and for some people talking about the person they’ve lost makes them feel better. Others might cry every day unable to go on with life, another person might start drinking or use some other kind of substance trying to numb their pain or fill that void in their lives. For others it’s a source of inspiration to express themselves through song, art, poetry or dance.

A couple of months back I listened to a Afrikaans song by Bouwer Bosch- “Kanker”/ “Cancer” I guess my English readers won’t be able to understand when they listen to it, but He basically says his hero, is wounded and has the ability to survive but his life is not in his hands. It’s seems unfair but it’s not really his place to say anything and all he wants is just grace. Sadly Bouwer’s dad passed away last week after battling cancer for three years.

I can relate to the song because my mom suffered from cancer and I think if her life was in her own hands she would have survived. She was a very strong woman, funny right till the end and ironically kept on praising God even through her pain.

Loosing a loved one is a part of life that all of us wish we never had to endure. Whether we’ve lost someone through an accident, sickness or whatever means we will always have questions. Death is never easy to process and often people blame God. I don’t have the answers but I know of one person who does-God sees the bigger picture even if I don’t understand. Allow your loss to move you closer to God and not away from Him because the Holy Spirit is able to comfort us in times of loneliness, sadness and grieve.

Those left behind might go through so many emotions, have regrets, feelings of guilt, anger. Maybe you had a fight right before the other person was taken away and never got the chance to say you’re sorry or that you’ve forgiven them for something they might have done. All you want is just a chance to say goodbye or I love you. Maybe you wish that you had spent more time together, that you were a better son/daughter, parent, friend or spouse.

That person’s journey here on earth came to an end but you’re still here. What’s done is done so all you can do is just move on, forgive yourself and love those around you. Let us use our borrowed time one earth wisely, making a difference in this world and living out our purpose for God’s glory. As Christians we have a great re-union with our loved ones to look forward to that’s why even if we experience loss and grieve some part of us can be happy and at peace knowing our loved ones are in a better place free from pain, trials and tribulations.

Bouwer inspired me to write a song about my mom. Maybe one day when I’m ready I will be able to perform it.If it was up to her she would still be alive, but my hero died.

Follow @AleciaS707

Here is the link to the song “(K)anker”  by Bouwer Bosch

 

 

HashtagNoah

 

If Noah were to be alive right now he would probably be trending on Twitter and have social media in a buzz… #NoahTheRainmaker #DreamingNoah #GodFreakNoah #PsychoNoah #NoahHearsVoices

Depending on his personality Noah might reply #WatchThisSpace #FYIGodSaid #SurfsUp #HaveFaith #WearABathingSuite…

Well of course Noah must have had a lot of faith in God to do something so out of the ordinary. The Bibles states that Noah did what God commanded him to do, but I think at some point he probably thought about the whole situation with no rain in sight and he probably wondered how the people would react to him building an ark. Despite what he might have been thinking (his insecurities) he knew that God had his best interest at heart even if the situation looked a bit dodge and he realized people would find his actions a bit strange, because they don’t understand his relationship with God.

Makes me think: sometimes God asks us to do something that isn’t even as crazy as that, like to tell someone “Jesus loves you” and we are hesitant to do it.

Noah’s obedience to God ensured the preservation of mankind, but what you have to do might not be as dramatic as Noah’s task and might not have an impact on the whole world. Your task, you stepping into your destiny, your obedience to God might be a vital step to ensure that you live out your purpose and have an impact in your family, community, country and yes maybe the world.

I read a really awesome quote the other day-“the difference between a rut and a grave is only the length and depth.” If Noah allowed himself to be influenced by people who didn’t understand his relationship with God, people who didn’t understand his journey he would not have lived out his purpose. He would have become just as the people of those days who didn’t please God by their lifestyle. He wouldn’t have stood out and changed the course of history.

Maybe you’re at a point in your life where you are not living, but merely existing. You know there’s more, but you’re just not doing it because you’re holding on to your past failures, your fear of success, fear of failure, circumstances, lack of faith, lack of money or because of of other people’s opinions, their rejection or their expectations of you.

“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position”-Leo Buscaglia

Taking a bold step into doing something as huge as Noah did takes a lot of courage. If you want to change the course of direction in your life and live a purpose filled life that pleases God, it takes a conscience decision on your part to make a drastic change. Of course this means faith has to be right up there with courage and God’s approval and opinions should be your only focus. A clear vision from God is extremely important because when you know God has your back and He will be lighting your path every step of the way it gives you the strength to go on. The road won’t be easy and there will be distractions, temptations and discouragement but with God by our side we can make it through this journey of life.

We should make it a priority to get to know God and grow closer into an intimate relationship with Him so we can have the faith and strength to resist the devil and discover new things about God and about ourselves.

Step into your destiny and live your God given purpose today.

Follow @AleciaS707

Be your own cheerleader

Seriously do I really have to get up right now? I think everyone experiences one of these days from time to time and everyone needs to have a little inspiration from time to time.

Motivation comes in different forms so you need to find out what works out best for you. If you’re like me who constantly has to be entertained, motivation is not just fixed on one particular thing. One of my missions actually is to keep myself entertained or motivated to achieve my goals. For one person it might be one song pumping on repeat, a movie, an inspiring book, daily quotes, magazines, a day out in nature or reading the Bible. Anything really goes as long as it gets you going.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”-Martin Luther King Jr.

Whatever it is that you are passionate about, it is your responsibility to keep your passion alive. It’s easy to be affected by circumstances or people who have no ambition, no vision and no dreams. Just because they are not doing it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go for it. Don’t ever let anyone who gave up on their dreams influence you to give up on yours. Don’t let anyone who is too scared to make their dreams come to life scare you from taking risks and living your purpose. Of course you’ll make mistakes along the way, but the best thing you can do is to learn from them and avoid repeating them in the future. Don’t allow your mistakes to keep you from getting up and going for it. Remember your past and your mistakes do not define you. Through the forgiveness of Christ you are now free, you’re a new person.

Motivation is especially needed on those days when it feels like you have a heavy weight hanging around your neck. People can weigh you down as well with their negative opinions and criticising attitudes. Therefore you need to surround yourself with positive people who are able to uplift, motivate and support you in your dreams and living out God’s purpose. Most of all you need to believe in yourself before others will believe in you.

You cannot wait for other people to initiate your dreams or give you the go ahead. God has already equipped you for the purpose He has for you. For some people looking at other role models is their source of motivation and inspiration. This can be good, healthy competition, but the only person that you should compete with is yourself. Always try to be better than the person you were yesterday. I read something really cool the other day “learn to be your own cheerleader”. Face it… not everyone will cheer you on along your way.

If you live for God’s glory the best role model you can look up to and the one person that will always be there cheering you on every step of the way is Jesus Christ through the presence and power of His Holy Spirit. In my own experience The Word of God is the best source of inspiration and motivation because it feeds your spirit and strengthens your body and soul. Never give up. Learn to be your own cheerleader.

Follow @AleciaS707